Four Reasons Why You Should Watch Yourself on Video — Even if it Makes You Cringe!
It can be, revealing, reassuring, and motivating
Many years ago, I watched a video of myself presenting. I couldn't bring myself to view it for months because I knew how bad it was going to be! Partway through my presentation, I had lost my way and hesitated. I dreaded watching that video but when I finally did, it was fascinating — because the hesitation was barely noticeable. And I realised that I had held a distorted view of my performance.
When I first started coaching, a few clients would ask me to video their presentations. I thought this was a great idea and so I extended the offer to everyone. I noticed that very few people took up the offer, but those who did found it helpful.
Realising the benefits and people’s reluctance, I have changed my tactic. I now tell people that I will video them unless they ask me not too! And guess what? No one has ever asked me not to. I get feedback that being able to watch their videos is incredibly helpful — even if sometimes cringe-worthy!
I advise people to watch their videos twice — the first time with the sound off. I suggest this for two reasons. The first is that we all hate the sound of our voice. A study in 1966 labelled this as a “voice confrontation experience”! Secondly, it allows the speaker to pick up non-verbal aspects of their presentation — body language and distracting habits.
Here are four reasons why videoing is helpful.
1 — Mistakes and Nervousness Are Not Usually as Obvious as You Believe
I had a client recently who kept stopping during his presentation to comment on his shaky legs. But none of us could see the shaking! Afterwards, I sent him the video. He emailed me back to say that he agreed the shaking was not visible. He was so relieved!
His experience is typical. Most nervous speakers overestimate how nervous they look.
I had another client who had had frequent positive feedback on her presentation skills from colleagues, but she thought they were just “being kind”. We all agreed that she didn’t look nervous, but she said she would not have believed us without seeing the video for herself.
Similarly, audiences hardly ever notice small slip-ups and mistakes, as illustrated by my own experience. When we watch ourselves, it helps put these moments in perspective. Mistakes are usually a tiny part of the presentation and barely noticeable to anyone else.
2 — It Helps You Analyse Your Delivery
Do you have any idea how you come across when you speak? Watching a video can reveal distracting habits and filler words. You can observe your posture and body language and listen for variety and expression in your voice.
Of course, this could be confronting. You realise your mistakes and nerves are not noticeable, but perhaps your rocking or fidgeting is!
However, becoming aware of distracting habits is the first step to eliminating them.
Let’s say you have a habit of wringing your hands. You have no idea you are doing this at the time, but you pick it up on video. Next time, you have to concentrate hard on doing something else with your hands — like keep them by your side or slightly in front of you. But eventually, you will automatically adopt the new (better) habit.
It is the same with filler words like um and ah. Most of us are blissfully unaware of them until we listen to ourselves! It is possible to reduce or eliminate filler words with some concentrated effort — but you have to know about them first.
3 — It Can Help You Understand Someone Else’s Feedback
Years ago, I had some feedback that I was scary as a presenter! I didn’t have access to a video at the time, and I was a bit offended and puzzled by this comment. But one day I watched a video, and I understood. I am quite intense and serious when I am nervous, and this can come across a bit intimidating! I now have a voice in my ear, reminding myself to “lighten up” whenever I hear that intensity creeping into my voice.
I had a client who was not breathing properly as she spoke. Her words sounded clipped as she overemphasised her consonants — especially at the start of a word — and rushed her vowels. The result was a slightly jarring, staccato style of speech.
I encouraged her to elongate her vowels. Vowels require oxygen and so by drawing them out, you force yourself to breath. Watching her video helped her understand what I was saying and how to fix it.
4 — You Can Track Your Progress
Watching old videos can help remind you of how much you have improved! I wish I still had videos of my presentations from ten years ago. They would be a useful marketing tool!
Video-conferencing has made it easier to record presentations — you just need to make sure you push the record button! And remember to start recording again after you pause.
If you hate watching videos of yourself, do it anyway! It might be uncomfortable at first, but eventually, you will be less judgemental and more analytical. Watch at least twice — the first time on mute. You will learn a lot — some good, some bad, and all useful!
