Why It Is Ok to Be a Nervous Speaker!
The number one goal of people who do my Fear-less public speaking course is to become a confident speaker. Their number two goal is to get rid of the nerves.
With a bit of work, anyone can become a confident speaker, but getting rid of the nerves is unlikely — and unnecessary! In this article, I explain that confident is not the opposite of nervous — you can be both.
Nerves can help you speak better
When I ask an audience if there is anyone who has never felt nervous before public speaking, I may get one or two hands raised at most. Often people are surprised because they look around the room and recognise many very good speakers, who have not raised their hand.
A moderate level of nervousness is normal, natural, and even desirable when you are speaking to an audience. Public speaking is a performance — although the best speakers don’t make it look like one! Any time you are performing — whether it be on stage or playing sport — you need stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline to perform your best.
I have been a member of Toastmasters for 15 years and many speaking situations don’t make me nervous. But speaking to a new audience, a large audience, or on a new topic can definitely still make me nervous! I have learned to welcome the nerves and I often notice I am sharper and more articulate when I have some nervous energy.
But panicking about the nerves will have the opposite effect
While nerves can definitely be performance-enhancing, full-blown anxiety is not. People experiencing extreme anxiety are likely to forget what they want to say, have difficulty breathing and can even have panic attacks. None of this is conducive to speaking well!
It is important to understand that nerves turn into anxiety because of your reaction to feeling nervous. If you start catastrophising (what if I forget, what if I look nervous, etc.) you can bring on an anxiety response. In other words, it is not the fear that is the problem but your fear of the fear!
How you can ensure the nerves don’t sabotage your public speaking performance
Focus on skills rather than feelings and you will be surprised at the results!
The first strategy involves paying as little attention as possible to the nerves and focusing on developing skills instead. I often ask a group what a confident speaker looks like and they usually generate a list like this:
- Makes eye contact — not reading
- Has open body language and good posture
- Does not talk too fast
- Uses vocal variety
- Knows their topic
- Does not use too many filler words
- Talks conversationally
- Not afraid to pause
- Engages directly with the audience.
Notice that this list is just a set of skills that can be learned — even if you feel very nervous! You can learn to slow down, use natural gestures and get rid of distracting habits, pause and make eye contact, and so on.
Rather than ‘fake it until you make it’, I prefer ‘fake it until you feel it’. Join a Toastmasters club and get practising in a safe environment. Your confidence will grow as you realise that others perceive you as confident. The nerves won’t disappear completely but feeling confident means you can speak without worrying that the nerves will take over.
Chanel the nerves into excitement
If you still find yourself fighting the nerves, try this strategy which involves putting a different label on the feelings. We all know what anxiety feels like — you have a knot in your stomach, your heart is pounding, and perhaps you feel a bit shaky. But have you noticed that excitement feels remarkably similar?
Excitement and anxiety are both our body’s sympathetic nervous system switched on — which produces the stress hormones. But they are opposite mindsets. Anxiety is a dread mindset where you are anticipating a bad outcome. Excitement is an opportunity mindset where you are anticipating a positive outcome.
When you start to feel your heart pounding and that knot in your stomach, tell yourself that it is excitement! After all public speaking is an opportunity to share your ideas and perhaps get some recognition.
In brief, it works because you are not trying to make the feelings go away — you are simply putting a more positive interpretation on them.
Acknowledge the nerves and take away their power
I was recently running a corporate training workshop, and right at the start during the introductions, one young woman shared that she was an incredibly anxious public speaker. While she had wanted to do the workshop, she was also dreading it. She did really well and like many highly anxious speakers, she looked less nervous than she imagined.
At the end of the workshop, another participant thanked her for being so open and honest about her nerves — and said that it had made the workshop so much easier for her to know she was not the only one who felt like that.
There is a great message here for everyone. If we were all more open about feeling nervous we would normalise it and take away its power. In my experience, anxious people feel like they are different to everyone else. When they realise that others experience similar feelings they often feel incredibly relieved — and reassured that there is nothing wrong with them.
Be well-prepared
No doubt you have read public speaking articles telling you about the importance of preparation. It’s not the full story but it is important. Many of my clients have had a bad public speaking experience in the past that has triggered their anxiety. Often this experience came about because they were under-prepared. It is amazing how one bad experience can spiral and cause ongoing feelings of anxiety.
If you are well prepared, you will recover more quickly if your mind goes blank. My strategy is to carry on to my next point and come back to the point I have forgotten later. Or I might stop and refer to my notes. If I prepare well I can always get back in my stride — and I doubt that anyone notices or remembers.
Final words
Remember that confident is not the opposite of nervous. Most confident speakers also get nervous, but their confidence means they know the nerves won’t stop them from giving a great presentation — in fact, they will probably help.
If you are worried about being nervous try focusing on developing your skills and being well prepared and you will find your confidence growing despite the nerves. If you can’t stop worrying about the nerves, try labelling them as excitement instead. Or share with others that you are feeling a bit nervous — you might be surprised to find you are not the only one!
Article originally published at https://www.fear-less.co.nz.
